Let’s make the introduction a bit brief shall we? You’ve read the title, you know what I did. But if you follow me on social media for more than maybe I don’t know, ’bout 2 minutes, then you will have known this video has been in the works for a really long time. So I hereby finally present to you the video in which I wear 100% denim, from head to toe. Why did I do this? Uh, because I hate myself but love attention. But I went online and I bought every single garment of clothing that one would usually wear, but in denim. Once they’ve all arrived I took my friend Jon down to the beach and, stupid ensued. But first, I had to put it all on. So I’ve got my outfit assembled. I – you know, when I came up with this idea in my head I thought this was a great idea, but now I’m less – I’m less sure about this. We have a denim shirt, which is way too long, it’s like a dress. A denim backpack to carry more denim in case I need it. Denim bum bag which is apparently vintage oh vintage inspired, oh that’s not as fun. Denim baseball cap which I shall open in just a second. I don’t suit hats, I don’t wear hats. That’s not gonna be fun. I’m already wearing my jeans you know, I’m already got the – I’ve already got the base of the outfit sorted. Jeans are probably gonna be mostly covered, in these bad boys! I think I’ve gone insane. Why am I doing this?! I’m not sure that’s going over them, but we’ll figure it out. Oh, I forgot. I forgot one of the things, I also have a uh – a choker. Joke me jaddy (please God no Emma) (Laughs) I was the meme queen. Now, I’m the jean meme queen. On the scale of one to amish, how do I look? (Jon and Emma laugh) How do I look? (Jon) That is awful (Emma laughs) How do I look so far? I feel…I feel like a woman of 2017. A backpack, which I am genuinely gonna carry around spare pairs of jeans in, cause you never know when you’re gonna need more denim. GOD my thighs were not built for this! Why am I even wearing jeans underneath? You can’t even see them! You know what though, I know that I’m wearing jeans underneath, and that is what matters here. Have you ever wanted to be a modern woman in 2017? Have you ever wanted to know what the look of this generation is? Well look no further. This is the worst thing I’ve ever done. This is the WORST thing, but I also feel like Justin Timberlake, which is great. I’m disgusted with myself. I feel – I feel disgusted. Things I do for the memes, man! Do it for the memes! You know what, that is way more practical than I thought. Car keys. I think I might have converted to a bum bag, you know? It’s actually quite helpful. I’m so happy now! Bum bags forever! Walk up in the club like yo I’ve got a denim dick, ok let’s go. (Jon laughs) A denim dick? (Emma laughs) So we hop into my car, and I very very quickly realise that, I can not drive in these stupid boots. Have you ever tried to drive in high heels or stilletto heels? Or any kind of heels? It doesn’t happen. I’m wearing so much denim, that I thought I was still wearing my seat belt. Look I could not have driven in these, okay, we both would have died and I would have been buried in the clothes that I’m wearing so. But I would be remembered as the denim meme queen, jean queen Billy Jean. Shut up. I see you filming my butt. I see you, baby. Shaking that jass. Jean ass. Get it. Denim jokes. Oh, where did I put my keys? Oh that’s right, it’s in the bum bag. Like every thing else. (Jon) I think this is the peak of my career. You’re welcome. (Singing) What can I say except you’re jelcome! I need to stop, I need to stop now. (Jon) You’re just adding J to everything. Yep. These are the jokes! OH! OH! I feel like I look sexy as heck. And also, I click baited you. I said 100% denim, these aren’t 100% denim. You got – you got – you got joasted! You got taken for a jide! You got juped, juped like duped, juped. Please, please I don’t want to- (Jon) It’s gonna open and there’s just gonna be a big mirror as a massive reminder of what you – (Emma laughs) Yeah! See I can’t see it really. I know in my head. But I can’t see it. And then finally, finally it was time to go into town, and look like a prick. I’m getting some real, I’m getting some nice looks over here. I wanna die. I wanna die. So we’ve walked maybe like 200 – 300 feet, and like my – my shoes are already like crippling my toes. I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get through this whole day wearing these. But I know how important they are to the outfit. You know, so I’m not sure what to do. I think we’re gonna go chill at the beach and then I need to decide whether or not I can wear these. Cause…cause this is agony right now. I like your jacket. Now this next part, this unsolicited comment will shock you. (Random guy) Jeans. (Jon) You hear that guy just go “jeans”. (Emma) I know, I just heard “jeans”, that’s all I heard and I knew it was something good. Can you believe he would say something so cruel. It’s – it’s like freak all over again. So cruel, so shaming “jeans”. You know, it wasn’t just jeans. It was like 10% jeans. What a beautiful day to get a tan! Oh man. If only I brought my denim swim suit. Like jim-juit. I think one issue that we really stumbled across was we chose a date and time where there just weren’t that many people around. I did however catch the eye of a certain very sexual gentleman. And let just say my style choices were extremely influential. They don’t give a fuck. See kids, not judgemental at all. Kids are nice, they don’t care. Adults, they’re the nasty ones. Kids think I look great. I agree. Is that the fashion police? (Jon) They must know about fashion and they must know about art. (Emma) I just want to go and sit next to that girl with the Monopod so badly. I wanna just go sit next to the guy. I feel like maybe I should walk in front of their shot. That would be so mean, it’s so mean. It’s fucking funny though. Oh no I can’t, I can’t I don’t have the heart to like walk in front of their time lapse. Although he is looking at me, so maybe he deserves it. I’m getting judged hard. You feel that judgement? No I did, I – I chickened out. Okay I didn’t actually spoil her shot. Being a meme queen jeans scene queen Billy Jean thing, thing doesn’t rhyme. Damn. It comes with certain responsibilities. You know, you can’t just ruin people’s day. But we did take it upon ourselves to film just a little tiny fashion look-book for those of you who appreciate true fashion, and a great sense of style. Let’s take a look. It was all going well. I felt happy you know, I felt appreciated. And then, I had to do the walk of shame. Suddenly I was confronted by not one, not two, but three groups of judgemental bitches. There are some devious bitches on this beach. Some jivious jitches try to fucking make it look like they’re doing a panorama shot and I know they just taking picture of me. I was about to say: “Why don’t you take a picture of it, it’ll last longer” but that’s exactly what they did so. Tryna sneak photos of me on their phones to send to their friends. You know giving me the most ridiculously evil look. Just shaming my choices, I felt like a pariah. What’s a pariah? Yeah, I felt like a pariah. Keep judging me, you’re famous on YouTube now bitches. I’m starting to feel it now, starting to feel it. It’s getting really fucking hot and uncomfortable now, but we’ll persevere. But after we left the beach, things seemed to just die off. No one was really looking and even if they did, they didn’t really care all that much. You see the thing is Brighton folk are just a lot nicer and more accepting than the people of London. Like they probably see weirder thing than me every single day. But this topped off with the fact that Jon was filming the whole thing, you know they probably didn’t want to be on camera looking at me and giving me evil stares. So really, this whole thing was just kind of a flop. Except a couple of cases. I didn’t dress like the fucking denim jean meme queen for no fucking reason. You know, I’m here to brighten your day. I’m here to jighten your jay. That’s what it’s all about. Oh that kid is fucking nosy. This is the problem of Brighton man, everyone’s so fucking accepting. As I say that. As I say that. I look great, right? So we headed down towards the pier and fortunately things picked up a little bit. Absolutely love my life. She wanted my pussy. I understand why. And then my favourite thing of the entire day happened. It made my day. We walked down to the end of the pier to get some chips. You know fish and chips governor! And you can’t really see it on camera but we passed this group of school girls. And one of these school girls gave me the most evil filthy look I have ever had. And I know I sound like I’m, you know hyperbolizing things here. But no really I thought she wanted to kill me. And you know that’s not to shame her, she was right. I looked disgusting. But here comes the best part. I turned to her and I was like: “What do you think?” And she recognised me. And suddenly everything made sense. Oh, it’s Emma Blackery being a fucking idiot. It’s definitely for a YouTube video, I don’t always dress like this, I promise. This is not a choice I wanted to make. (Jon) Yes it is. And I hung out with her and her group of friends we had a chat they gave their honest opinions about my look. (Jon) What do you guys think of this outfit? (Emma) How do I look? We grabbed some selfies. Because obviously the only time that someone wants to post a selfie with me online, is when I look like that. And then it was time to eat, so without further ado. I just love how the girl gave me the dirtiest look until she realised it was me. You look horrendous oh but you’re Emma Blackery, so now I get it. Now I understand. (Jon) Never. I want to make it very clear. If you’re staring at me, and you think I look weird, don’t worry you’re right. Not me. It’s not a case of ‘oh look how judgemental this person is’. It’s more like. Look, this person has eyes. This is how I meet my man. Find someone who looks at me and goes “I like your sense of humour”. Double denim. She gets it, she understands. Double denim is for weak ass bitches. After we’d eaten I kind of realised
that we’d hit the point of no return with the boots. These are just, I’m gonna have to give up on these. And sadly, and I know they piece the look together. And I know that I was dedicated. But I physically can’t walk in these anymore. So they have to go. I kinda want to throw them in the sea where they fucking belong. (Jon) Get in the sea. (Emma) Honestly I might just put these in the fucking sea. (Jon) What have you done to yourself? Oh my God, so update, the choker uh – oh my God it’s broken! I’m not kidding, it’s joken. No it’s actually, it’s actually come off like that. So we just put it back on. I’m fucking dedicated, I’m gonna put this shit back on. Okay, that’s not good. (Jon) Rest in peace ,choker. But I – but agh. Okay well – (Jon) You can use it as a wrist band. It can’t it won’t – it won’t, It won’t tie up now. (Jon) Just tie it round you. Well the choker is gone, not by choice. These have gone because of pain. I’m becoming less denim. And it’s not even on purpose (Jon) You’re doing a sexy denim strip show. So now, I’d lost the boots. I’d lost the choker like, I didn’t even know who I was anymore We decided to try and head back to the shopping centre. But at this point I was half the person that I was, you know. And I just wasn’t feeling it. It’s not the same. I’m upset, I’m genuinely quiet upset by this. Now also my feet are now actually burning. What’s weirder? Which of those things is weirder to look at? It’s me isn’t it? It’s me. It’s not the same, man. It’s not the same. Now I’m look sort of okay and normal. Damn it we should’ve done this in London, Jon. (Jon) Next time.( Emma) Part 2. (Jon) Why don’t you just go through the open door? ‘Cause Blackery’s do things their own way, we carve our own paths. (Jon) Alright blackberry. I just couldn’t continue it – it’s really all or nothing, with that outfit, you know. And after walking pass the Levi’s store, and seeing true denim goals I – I realised I couldn’t do it anymore. I began to feel as though my meme jeans scene queen dreams were over. You know, were un-achievable. I just didn’t have what it took, so with great sorrow I relinquish my title because, at the end of the day I just didn’t deserve it. I hope you enjoyed this mess. If you did feel free to smash that like button! I wanna hit 500 likes – okay that’s an old joke I apologise. But I am releasing a book and this is when everyone leaves, I know. But you can pre-order my book “Feel good 101” in the description down below! Please do. I – I really want to chart you know? It took a long time to write it. And finally just a massive thank you to my pimps on Patreon. You guys are the reason that I was able to hire Jon, to film my shame If you want to see more videos like this then please head on over to my patreon and you know just – just – just help me hire people. Please. I’m very lonely! So thank you guys so much for watching, and I shall catch you later! I fucking hate myself.